I sometimes hear from wives who are not only dealing with insecurities
about themselves and their own desirability after their husband's
affair, they are also having the worry about their husband still
thinking about (or longing after) the other woman. They worry that this
means that he's not ever going to truly be happy at home. And that he's
always going to think that she is the one that got away, and the one who
he would truly want if only things were different.
I might hear a
comment similar to this one: "my husband cheated on me with a woman who
was a little younger and perhaps a lot prettier. I know that he still
thinks about her. In fact, he doesn't even try to hide the fact that he
still thinks about her. But he has promised to stay with me because of
our kids. And I believe that he is trying to be a good husband and to
make our marriage better. I honestly believe that he does love me. He
just may not lust after me in the same way that he lusts after her. But I
believe that we have a compelling history and I know that he is
committed to our family. I know that I should try to be happy with this.
But knowing that he is always remembering her bothers me so much. It's
like I can never really have peace or enjoy my husband because she is
always between us. I want him to forget about her. I have even tried to
dig up dirt on her to prove to my husband that she isn't as great as he
thinks. But it hasn't worked. I catch him having a far away look on his
face all of the time and I know that he is thinking of her. It makes me
so fearful and sad. Is there any way that an everyday wife can make a
man forget about the affair who he thinks was his dream woman?"
So
many things about this make me sad. But most of all, it saddens me that
this wife saw herself as less than the other woman. It was almost as if
she were conceding that the other woman had something that she didn't
or that the other woman already had her beaten. When you have this
attitude, not only can you be wrong, but you can project that attitude
onto your husband, which is actually the last thing that you want.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7736581
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